I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize