If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize