Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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