I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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