I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I want a musical about memes.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
