I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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