We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
