I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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