Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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