Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
