is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
