Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
