she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
