I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
