You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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