dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
