you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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