When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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