In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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