My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I am naked and annoyed.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
