We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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