hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
