is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
