How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
the day after is always just damage control
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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