he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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