dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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