dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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