Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Michael Bay diarrhea
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
