i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
