No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
