Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
