Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
