I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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