sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
