i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
