So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize