OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
