doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
