i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
home. puking in laundry basket.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
