no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
