I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize