I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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