I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Can you bring me the toilet please
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
