U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Randomize