umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
