too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
