The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
