I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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