so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Well I just put wine in my tea
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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