it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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