I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
