I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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