Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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