Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
