how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
