he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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