I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
