Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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