Porn is love you can see.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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